"The beginning seemed so long ago, I thought these times would never end..."

Hello all,

Now that my metaexploratory essay is FINALLY done and StageWrite/Troubadour are in hibernation until next year, I thought I'd take up blogging again. I need somewhere to express myself, so here it is.

Spring has always been my favorite season. There's something about April and May that always reenergizes me -- a friend once told me I must be solar powered or something. It's looking and feeling more and more like summer, and nature finally got the memo that spring is here. But this year, it's hard to explain how I feel with this season coming. Part of the beauty of spring is seeing the life cycle unfold -- not just nature but another graduating senior class, another year finished. But this year my class is the one walking across that stage. I've been itching to get out of this town for so long -- don't get me started on Deerfield -- but now that it's actually time, I'm fighting a serious case of nostalgia. I know I'm definitely not the only one... Last week at Friday night services when the seniors were honored, it really hit me. I'm trying to get used to the idea that half of the senior class will be around for High Holidays and the other half will be scattered all over -- even weirder, I'm in the second group. And now I'm wondering how will we move on from the present without losing touch with everything and everyone? I know it should be easier now with texting, Skype, even visiting each other, but it's still a change. But "nothing endures but change" -- high school seemed like such an adjustment 4 years ago, but now it seems second nature. Our sense of reality changes as we change. So in case you're reading this and don't go to DHS, this is my senior column in the school newspaper -- it sums up everything, good and bad but mostly good. I hope this leaves you with a little inspiration.


How do you measure 4 years in a life?

Now that the last 4 years are coming to a close, I have the familiar urge to reflect on where I’ve been. How do people measure the journeys they’ve taken? Is it some equation for the distance traveled and the passage of time, or is it the changes and self-realization inside us? Maybe it is a little of all.

How do I define my journey through high school? I define it by the ways that I have grown. Somehow I went from that freshman racing to X-hall with only a minute left before class, to becoming the person who my freshman brother looks to for advice. I’ve tried new opportunities that I couldn’t have imagined four years ago. Most of all, I define these years by the ways I have learned to think and question.

But, the truth is, none of this has been easy. Some things came easily and some not. I was grateful for those that inspired me, and I took my lumps with grace, I hope, on those bumpier moments. On the first day of AP Senior English, when we all had to memorize a poem that was meaningful to us, I chose “Still I Rise” by Maya Angelou. I relate to her words of empowerment. The refrain “But still, like air, I’ll rise” is what I live by, and personifies my resilience and the resilience required by all throughout high school.

I learned how tempting it is to let others define our success by a mere number, a grade point average. But the truth is, a number can never be an accurate representation of who we really are.

High school should be a journey of learning, but to all of us, there were many times it felt like an endless race. Though we don’t’ like to admit it, there was one goal, to get to the next step. We often took the safest path doing what was required to reach a goal, fighting to get every point possible to earn the highest grade, instead of learning for the sake of learning.

Perhaps that is my first personal goal as I look to college: to sample, learn, explore, and grow. After I took 3 AP tests in one week, I had an epiphany: life is like an AP test. We can never be 100% sure what is coming, we can only be prepared and do our best. This moment of insight came from having the chance to think freely. Thinking freely is a risk that needs to be taken, I know that in my classes and my life, moments of growth can only spring from courageous looking within and taking that intellectual or emotional risk.

So, what have I really learned in high school? I know that I still love learning. I learned the hard way that math and chemistry were not my strongest subjects, but nonetheless I persevered and still find chemical reactions and sine waves fascinating. But, I leave high school on a high note, knowing what I am capable of. And, I hope that my skills, determination and perseverance will be recognized and appreciated in the future.

So this is my final advice to the Class of 2011 and to future classes: make the journey mean something. Live so you can measure your life in the ways you made a change. And “like air you too shall rise.”